Denizens of Dreamland
by Afalstein
Summary: Series of different character perspectives on life in Dreamland. Based on the anime. Assumes more complexity of character than is probable. Mostly oneshots. So far: Sir Ebrum, Waddledoo, Fofa, Tokkori, Tuff. NOW Escargoon up!
1. Sir Ebrum

Sir Ebrum

I look at my children, and I can't help but worry.

I shouldn't, I know. Both Tiff and Tuff have been in more dangerous situations than I will ever even know. They've rubbed shoulders with some of the deadliest creatures in the galaxy, fought back to back with the greatest warriors alive. They've more than proved their ability to take care of themselves.

But I'm their father. I can't help but worry. That's what fathers do, even when their children play games with a star warrior and crush monsters on a daily basis. Come to think of it, ESPECIALLY when they do that.

Sometimes I tell myself I'm a terrible father not to be there when danger threatens, but then I always realize that that's impossible. The only way I could do that would be if I followed them around all day.

Even if I could it wouldn't help. When Tiff was kidnapped I was standing right there, and yet I couldn't do anything. It happened too fast for anyone to react, least of all me. How do you fight things you don't even understand? How do you fight a war that has passed you by? It's a new age, with new technology. Monsters appear out of air, spaceships rise from the ground, and robotic arms pop out of cars and seize your only daughter before you even know it.

I can't fight alongside my children. This war is beyond me. The only reason I'm a knight is to give the Cappies some pretense of representation at the castle. I've know nothing of Star Warriors, or ninjas, or NME, or any of the half-dozen words my little girl goes around babbling. I can't even comprehend the dangers they face. The Great Wars passed Popstar by. I grew up in a dreamland, untainted by war or suffering. My only enemy was the King, and my only evil was to lie about my cooking abilities.

Now my children battle dragons and fiery wolves and giant caterpillars. I'm their father. I'm supposed to shield them, provide strength for them, lift them up when they're too short to reach. And I can't, because the things they're in are too big for me already.

What do I do?

Part of me wants to reach out and grab them, lock them up so they can't rush madly out. Keep them from going into things I can't help them in. But I can't do that. It wouldn't be fair to them, to hold them back from adventures they know how to handle. I'm proud of my children, how they've gone so far. They're already far greater than I ever was. I shouldn't try to bottle that up, but rather nurture it and let it grow. Help them to become the greatest they can be.

So what do I do? The only thing I can. I pretend like I don't see.

My children are brave, strong, and clever; but sometimes I think the reason they keep such a level head is because they don't realize the danger around them. To them, it's just a happy game, a little field trip to go off on. And that's because I act like it is. When everything's done and all the monster's dead, my children need an anchor to reality, a safe and sound haven amidst the nightmare. I can still provide that. It doesn't make sense, I know, but my children feel safe because I act like there's no danger.

I've heard that the best way to handle a dangerous thing is to treat it with a touch of humor. For many years I've handled the king that way. Now it's how I handle daily life. My children feel no fear because I pretend I'm not worried.

Lucy feels the same. She realizes the same dangers I do and reacts the same way. The two of us do our best to give our children a happy childhood, and we trust Metaknight to give them a safe one.

So we pretend to be incredibly stupid. We act like we don't see everything around the castle. We remark on the strange flames coming from the hill where our children are playing. We stand by the window and talk about how the worst is over while our children slip out the door to fight the enemy… again.

And we welcome them back after the fight. We bandage their wounds and talk about how rough children's games are these days. We listen to Tuff's account of the day and laugh at the appropriate points. We nod as we hear Tiff's eternal complaints about the king and his tricks. We feed Kirby and pat him on the head.

And after we put them to bed, we hold each other and whisper reassuring words to each other about how the children can handle themselves. We step out onto the balcony and talk with Metaknight about the battle and ask him again to watch out for our babies.

Because we're their parents. And whenever we look at our children…we can't help but worry.


	2. Waddledoo

Waddle-doo "All for honor"

People call me a flunky. They call me a thug.

Maybe they're right. But I'm an honorable one.

I've served in the castle for longer than I can remember. I led my men here during the days of the old king. In exchange for food and shelter, we swore ourselves to his service. Traditionally, that means we stay around for as long as the food does and do whatever the king asks us to.

That's the part the others don't understand. "Why do you help the king?" They ask. "He doesn't care two cents for all of you. Yet you protect him from his own monsters and assist him in attacking his own subjects. You die for a king who doesn't even respect you and you throw pies at people who have done no wrong."

That's what some of the younger Cappies say, especially that one Tiff girl who's always hanging around the castle. The older ones don't mind. They understand better. They remember the days of the wars, when survival meant to pledge life to another's service. They know the age-old rules of lord and vassal.

For the young, everything in life is free and obligation is owed to none. Oaths, loyalties, and commitments don't mean a thing to them. So they can't understand how a agreement made with a penguin long dead has anything to do with things today. They don't see why we would agree to continue serving such a ruler for so long. Some suggest we just pack up and leave.

We could, I suppose. But that's not the Waddledee way. We serve our masters. Treachery or disloyalty is not even considered. The master fulfills his part, we fulfill ours. We really can't do otherwise.

I don't know if anyone quite understands this. Maybe Metaknight does. Curio thinks he knows more about us than anyone else. He says our behavior results from a survival instinct. The girl explained it to me once. We can't provide our own food or shelter, so we protect a host organism in exchange for them.

He's right, in a way, but not like he thinks. It's not a question of ability to provide. We could build houses. We could grow crops and cook food. We could do all those things. We already do.

So why do I lead my men into a place like this and submit to a madman who knows less than we?

Because there is one thing the Waddledees can never provide.

Leadership.

I'm the leader of the Waddledees. I take them to far off lands and select lords for us to serve under. It's my duty as it was my fathers before. I'm the closest thing they have to a chief.

But even I can't lead. All I can do is follow orders, or traditions. I direct my people because my father ordered me too. I am responsible for their safety and well-being simply because custom chose me as such. My only decision I ever really made was to walk in the door of that castle and not others.

My only decision. Shows you why we try not to make more of them.

A Waddledee's life is service. The health of that life is his loyalty. Regardless of what the king orders us to do, we obey, for he is our lord. We have delivered deadly packages. We have kidnapped little girls. With our own hands we have built the new throne room and the teleporter, portal to countless evils. All for honor. Without our honor, we have no direction to our lives.

I tried to explain this to the little girl. She didn't understand. "But you helped the king when he threw you out before. He replaced you with a robot and you still helped him."

Ah yes.

Perhaps I have overstepped custom in some ways. But even then, I was following an order, given to me by my first and better master, the old king.

The girl is too young to remember. She wasn't around in the old days, when we first came over the ocean, to be welcomed by the Cappies and their ruler. The old king was like his son, willful, stupid, and somewhat childish, but he was good. He truly understood honor.

That time was good. We kept the peace and served with honor. The king sent us on just, if somewhat misguided errands. The townspeople were our friends and the castle our home.

But all things end. And as the king lay on his deathbed, he uttered the last command that has bound me and my kin to our fate.

"Take care of my son."

So I serve. I commit treasonable acts to maintain honor. I stoop to crime to avoid infamy. I slave for my father, and my people, and the old king.

For whatever might be said of me, I am loyal to my master.


	3. Fololo&Falala

Fololo/Falala

Useless. That's me.

Or us.

Or it, or him, or her, or whatever you designate us as. How do you accomplish anything in life if you don't even know who you are? How do you decide what your heart tells you when you have two of them? It's no wonder we're useless if we can't even decide what we—or I—am.

I'm making excuses. We nearly always agree on what course to take. We know what the other wants without even asking. It's not as if there's ever been any conflict on what to do. As much as two bodies can, we have one mind.

But we are divided. We, who were intended to be one, have been split apart. More than split, we have grown apart.

Maybe, in the beginning, we could have been joined again. Back when Nightmare rejected us. Back when the king threw us over the ramparts to our new parents. Maybe, if we had remembered our history, we could have made our way back, somehow convinced the monster to rejoin us. Maybe.

It's hard to say for certain. I think that if we tried it today, it would either break us or create a severely conflicted creature. Tiff said the wand disappeared because the monster died. Maybe. But it certainly seems strange that it went through the other two and broke on us. And if a wizard, or a magical creature dies, don't his spells die with him? Maybe we were just unlucky to be stuck this way, but maybe, just maybe, this is the only way we can now remain.

Life has changed me. Both of me. I am kinder and harsher, weaker and stronger, than I—we—were before. We never talk about it, but we know that in small ways, we are no longer the same. There's a gap between us. Between me.

You'd think that would be distressing, feeling a gap in yourself. I thought it was, at first. But after we got used to it, it was actually nice. I hear things I would never have thought of, and yet I did, in a way. We consider matters that would never have touched my mind. Even the things we don't agree on, even the things that we dislike about each other, give us a strange joy. For some reason, it's fun to change and be changed by another.

We like each other. That's no secret. I suppose every person likes himself, but this is different. We love our similarities, but we enjoy the things that make us different, too. Tuff sometimes looks at us and giggles. He thinks we're in love.

Maybe we are. But how can you know? And even if you could, would you want to? After all, if we found out we loved each other, we wouldn't know what to do. I still haven't figured out my official relation to myself. According to law, Sir Ebrum and Lady Like are our guardians, so I guess that would make me brother and sister. But marriage laws don't apply so much to adopted children. I don't WANT to know if it's legal to marry yourself.

Strange, maybe that I think about marriage. After all, I'm just a kid. Never mind that we showed up before Tiff, who's already been on a date(sort of). Never mind the unknown time I spent as a monster under NME. The strange fact remains that our mind is that of a child.

Maybe I'm like Kirby. Metaknight says he won't grow up for another two hundred years. But even he's been growing, in his own way. He fights huge spaceships and gigantic beasts with a most unchildlike determination. He might be a century short of talking, but he's already a hero.

Unlike us. Sometimes I think I must have been the most pointless creation Nightmare ever spawned. Maybe I could do more when I was, well, myself, but all I do now is float. Float! Of all the most idiotic abilities! More than Tuff can do, maybe, but still not very powerful.

Even when we were together, I can't have been much. Nightmare sent me to his most useless customer. His most useless customer handed me off to his most useless servants. They didn't know what to do with me.

Us. It. We. Them.

I'm told Nightmare threw me out because I didn't want to fight. I wonder what made me think I could. Mom and Dad told us to watch out for our little brother and sister when they were born. No real point to it then, there was nothing dangerous. Still it made us feel important.

Now we just hang back and let Kirby handle it. Useless.

Still, sometimes we get to show our stuff. Every so often we help out Tiff and Tuff, sometimes even Kirby. It's weak, but it's better than nothing.

And sometimes…

Tiff thinks that the one day with Slice-and-Splice must have been a nightmare for us. To learn a history like that, have our whole dream life ripped apart, suddenly be given a chance to have it back, then suddenly have it snatched away—Tiff told us she was really very sorry the way things turned out.

She has no idea. That was the greatest day of our life.

Kirby was helpless, stunned from the affect. Tiff and Tuff were still trying to come to grips with all the new information. Metaknight was, well, Metaknight, lurking in the shadows, seeing what we'd do. No one knew what to do. Except me.

The news was surprising, of course, but at the same time it was strangely satisfying. It was as if I had known it all along, but only needed a confirmation. I remembered everything, and I knew exactly how to handle Slice-and-Splice.

That was the day I was the hero.

Then, when the monster lay dead and we prepared to join back, we were afraid. Afraid of what would happen. Afraid it wouldn't work, afraid it would. Afraid of one of us disappearing into the other. Afraid of losing ourselves in me.

The disappearance of the wand was the most beautiful thing that could have happened right then. Strange, perhaps, but true. If we had become one, I would have lost something of myself. We would have become even less than we already are. Maybe it's a moot point, but I noticed that we could defeat Slash because there were two of me. Being separate gives me a new existence, a new strength, one that I wouldn't give up the world. We gain too much from division. Two heads are better than one, and many hands make light work.

We'll continue to live my life in whatever paths it brings, and continue to explore myself through our differences. For though I am useless, we are strong.


	4. Tokkori

Tokkori

I've always known I was meant for something bigger. Ever since I was knee-high to a grasshopper I've known that. My ma never kicked me outta the nest, I jumped out, 'cause I knew it was too small for an important bird like me.

Folks around here just don't get just how important I am. They think just 'cause I'm a tiny bird with an annoying tone they can all just ignore me. Them Cappies! They all think they're so special, so great and big and mighty and all. They ain't. They's as dumb as dirt. You think I'd let anybody treat me the way that king treats them! No sirree! I ain't gettin' taken in by nobody!

I'm much too smart to get taken in. I never will be. When it all comes down, I intend to be the one bird who sits on top of the whole heap. I'm gonna be the smartest, fastest, strongest, and most important bird in the whole of dreamland.

People think us birds is weak. They look at a small feller like me and they think he can't do nothin' to protect himself. Well they got a surprise comin', because this here bird can watch out for himself better'n anybody around! He kin grab the prize before anybody else and stake his claim to what rightfully is his! The early bird gets the worm, says I, and this here bird intends to be the earliest of the bunch.

One time, I thought the world was finally getting around to realizing that. They finally found out I was royalty (I hadn't known that precisely, but I'd figured there was somethin' special in my family), and they were gonna find me my treasure. And then they went and called the whole thing off because of some stupid mumbo-jumbo that they found buried in a cave somewhere.

Idiots!

They ain't never gonna get it right!

Guess that's why I always just figured to do things myself. People never can understand how to do things proper, so I gotta do it myself. That one time I was with Kirby in the race, we would lost the whole thing if I hadn't been there to steer us to victory. I was the one who told Kirby to get up and cross the line. If he'd listened to me sooner, he mighta won that race. But no. He wasn't gonna listen to a little bird like me.

And the funny thing is he got the glory for that race! I ask ya!

That's another thing. Here I been around in Dreamland all my life. I been helping out the folks hereabouts for years with all kinds of advice. I been shifting for myself, managing my own affairs, and no one so much as notices me. Kirby just drops out of the sky, and the Cappies decide to throw a party for the pink puffball! They build a house for him!

I never got treatment like that. When I was little my brothers and I fought for out food. We didn't get no special consideration. Every single critter in the woods was after us to eat us, and if we didn't look out for ourselves, we'd end up as dinner. We needed to be strong, fast, smart. Not just that, we had to be stronger, faster, and smarter than everyone else, because the critters would stop when they caught the slow ones. We looked out for ourselves and nobody else.

That's the way it was and it still is. That annoyin' kid with the poofy hair that comes by, he asks why I don't have family that visit. I'd like to tell him it's 'cause I ain't got no family. They all got killed, 'cept me. I bet that'd impress him. I bet then he'd realize what a great bird I am.

Kirby ain't got no family either, come to think of it. Not surprising, considering how he handles himself. He don't look out for himself worth a hootle. He just bounces along merrily, taking knocks and not hitting back. The only people he looks out for is that one bossy girl and her brother. But for some reason everybody seems to think he's some kinda great guy! Everybody likes the kid, and he's the most scatterbrained beachball this side of Popstar! Why if it wasn't for me…

Huh.

Now that's funny. Here I been going on about how I look out for myself and nobody else, and all the time it ain't really true.

I look out for Kirby. I do. Sure, the kid's annoyin' and all, but he's a good one. And he's the only one that's really gotten along with me, more or less. Every so often, I guess I do try to make help him stay safe. I warned the townspeople about that one grouchy guy with the purple face that came here looking for him. I helped him in the race. I went along with the bomb squad to take down the tower in that one NME base.

Wonder why I did that…

Maybe… Nah. I know why. If Kirby ever kicked the bucket, I'd have to move. The townspeople wouldn't let me live here no more, and I be stuck without a meal ticket.

That must be the reason. I'm still looking out for myself

Because I know I'm an important bird.

Slightly different tack on this one. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed, and also Ivynajs for helping out with details.


	5. Tuff

Tuff

Battling evil monsters is so much fun.

It's pretty simple, really. You just wait around Kirby until something weird happens, then follow up on that weird thing until you find out what caused it, and then you tell Kirby to suck up the evil monster and see what thingamabob he changes into.

It's fun! It's like playing some great big game and just waiting to see what happens. The only difference is that it's real and I'm not the one playing.

That bothers me sometimes. I mean, shouldn't I get to be the hero once in awhile? Shouldn't I get to be the person who takes care of these things?

And then I forget about it and go back to one of our games.

I mean, talk about cool! I hang out with one of the King's knights, get to play around with some super-prophesied warrior creature, take out galactic menaces, and still get home to tell it all to mom and dad.

Metaknight is seriously the coolest. I mean, before Kirby came along, he was just kinda a boring guy who annoyed us from time to time, sorta like that one Waddledoo. But then Kirby came and WOW! Not only does he turn out to have cool armor and a sweet looking sword (It's even supposed to be some kind of legendary blade, I think. How awesome is that!), but he's actually the survivor of some ancient race of intergalactic fighters who knows all these cool things. Fun!

Kirby, too. He comes down in a flying ball of fire, just in time to stop the king from shooting Kabu, and if that weren't exciting enough, he takes out this huge monster that the King had hidden away. And THEN we find out that he's a Star Warrior! Talk about cooool!

I don't know what we did before Kirby came along, but we must've had no fun at all. Probably played stupid games or listened to some of Tiff's boring books. What a nightmare. Now it's like we're in some kind of dream world.

That probably sounds pretty crazy. I mean, Tiff is always telling me how dangerous everything we're doing is. I guess so, but if it is I haven't really noticed. We've been all the way to NME and back and not come back with anything worse than some weird stories. (Well, we brought DDD back too, but we kinda had to do that…)

It probably is pretty dangerous. Metaknight's been knocked out before, Kirby's nearly gotten eaten once or twice, and Tiff's been captured I don't know _how_ many times. But never anything really serious. Metaknight always jumps in, or Sword, or Blade, or even Knucklejoe. And if none of that happens, Kirby gets that funny look in his eyes and just goes all out on the creature, and you _know_ it's dead.

Maybe that's why I find all this so much fun. Somewhere, in the back of my head, I can't believe that we're actually doing anything dangerous. I trust Metaknight, I guess, and Kirby, to just take care of anything that comes up. Anytime I try to save the day myself, I just end messing things up.

Messing things up…

That's kinda annoying, actually. Why can't I ever do anything? I want to be something, want to beat up monsters too. Shows are fun to watch, but video games are more fun.

Tiff used to tell me stories about brave heroes who would save princesses. They would go out and be the best and the bravest and save the day. Everybody cheered them on and they usually got to marry the princess.

I always knew I was one of those heroes. I just never had the opportunity to show it. Then Kirby showed up and I felt sure that things were starting to get moving. At last, I could show what a great person I was.

Then I tried, and Kirby nearly got eaten by a plant. I tried again, and I gave up Kirby's secret and nearly killed Kabu.

I'm the little one of the family. Tiff is smart, Metaknight is wise, Knucklejoe is tough, Sirica is fast, and Kirby is, well, Kirby. Me? Nothing. I'm not smart, I have no clue what's going on, I'm not tough, I can't even win a race in a borrowed car, and I am definitely not Kirby.

Good thing, too.

Oh well. I'm still little. Most heroes don't save the princess until they turn thirteen. That's a ways off still. In the meantime I can have fun with some of the greatest playmates any kid could ask for.

We have such fun games. I'm not sure if it's more cool when one of Metaknight's old enemies comes to kill him, or when NME sends some new kind of demonic creature to eat up Kirby.

I can't really decide who I like better, really, Metaknight or Kirby. The two of them are just both so awesome. When I grow up, I wanna be like Metaknight, just cause he's so awesome. He fights and he knows everything, and gets to wear all sorts of cool armor. Not only that, but I think he's struggling with some kind of repressed dark side. Isn't that awesome?

The only bad thing about Metaknight is he's too serious. You can't really joke around with him, or get him to play a game. Even when we're talking about something perfectly ordinary like killing off some ancient evil from the depth's of the earth, he refuses to lighten up about the whole thing.

Of course, maybe if he wasn't like that we couldn't have so much fun. Still, I think I like Kirby better. I don't want to grow up like him, partly because he hasn't grown up yet, but also because it's pretty impossible for to me grow up into a pink ball that eats everything in sight; but I do like him. Kirby's fun. He shares his toys and he plays games and laughs at jokes and sometimes even thinks of new ones. You can even play tricks on him and he doesn't care. He's just so blissfully stupid and happy, you can't help but love him!

Besides that, if you play with him long enough, something interesting is bound to happen. Some monster will show up or an angry Star warrior will pop out of nowhere or some kind of natural disaster will happen.

And battling evil monsters is so much fun.


	6. Escargoon

Escargoon

I watch the king as he sits on his throne, scarfing his food, ordering his monsters, abusing his power.

He's such an idiot.

He's not even using his power correctly. If I had half his prestige, I'd…. Well, I don't know exactly what I'd do, but I'd think of something.

I wish I had power like his. I wish I could be the big, important person who flaunts their strength around.

But no. I'm the ridiculous snail who has to toadie up to him and hope he rewards me sometime. I simper and smirk and scold, and I constantly follow him around and sacrifice everything. I have to serve his every whim, regardless of how much I hate it. I dress up in ridiculous costumes to help him practice proposals and run TV shows and do ridiculous propaganda techniques.

Mind you, I haven't always been completely servile. I'm the king's major domo, but I'm also the kingdom's treasurer and the administrator of most of the _real_ business that goes on around the castle. At times, that's caused problems, because DeeDeeDee is really an awful ruler when it comes to funds and stuff like that. He never handles anything right unless I prod him into doing it. It makes my situation more tenuous, but it puts money in the treasury, and where else would I get my riches from?

Besides, after I've done prodding him, he realizes I was doing it to serve him. He knows my ends are the same as his. I'm his most faithful servant. (Apart from embezzlement, and treachery, and the occasional abuse when he's attached a curse to a voodoo doll or something.)

Why do I serve him, I wonder? It's quite simple, really. I want his power.

The king is extraordinarily resilient, almost as much as me, and he's survived countless explosions and destructions, but sooner or later he'll die, and someone will have to step in to fill the vacuum.

Maybe the king hasn't noticed yet, but he doesn't have many friends. Who will he choose when his eyes begin to darken? Metaknight? You can't trust that metalhead to do anything! Waddledoo? The poor flunky can barely carry out orders, let alone come up with his own! Sir Ebrum? That's a laugh!

No. When the king dies, he will remember me as the only person who cared him and stood by him in all that he did. He'll remember me as the only friend who helped him in all his mad, harebrained schemes. And he'll reward me.

Looking at it in that light, why do I serve him so completely? It'd be simple to let him die while he was sick, or just leave him as a frozen Pengy statue, or just let him go on some of these dangerous things himself.

Why do I serve him?

It… doesn't really make sense, I guess. And yet… when I was young, my mommy taught me to always be a good servant to your king. She said it was our duty, that the king holds the power to defend us and shelter us. If we didn't like the king, then we could move elsewhere, but if we lived in his land we had to obey him.

And… there's something else. In a sick, twisted way, I guess I am the king's friend. And in a warped, hateful way, he is also my friend.

There's a kinship between us, a shared delight in oppression and a mutual hatred of anyone but ourselves. We're evil and we love it. We get to poke the people of Cappytown and watch them jump. We order monsters and enjoy the havoc we create. And in a way, there's a bond between us, just because everyone else hates us.

So I sit here, watching the king scarf down his food, waiting for the order to go fetch more. I sit here because I want his power. I do it because he's my king. And I do it because he's my friend.

Back again. I intend to finish this thing if it kills me. Probably will. This one is much shorter, maybe just because I couldn't think of anything more. Oh well.

Please let me know of any mistakes/conflictions/ideas. I welcome criticism.


End file.
